Assigned Seats
by Siren of Hell
Summary: Harry PotterBuffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She’s determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves
1. Chapter 1 What the FUCK!

Assigned Seats  
  
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)  
  
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enemy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..  
  
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.  
  
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.  
  
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5  
  
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS  
  
*Warning* Slash  
  
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...  
  
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.  
  
Chapter 1 What the... Fuck?  
  
Harry plopped his books down on the desk in front of him. He really should look forward to DADA more. He loved the subject. He always got good grades in it, the new teacher was amazing, the best they had had, even better than Lupin and that was saying something. She seemed to know everything and she was really pretty, Ron had a tendency to drool in class. She was young, and sometimes acted a bit like them, making jokes and mouthing off. She was a fantastic teacher, and he loved learning what she taught. He just couldn't understand why he dreaded the class.  
  
A set of books was elegantly placed next to his. Oh, yeah, now he remembered. When Professor Summers had heard about the house rivalry she had decided to do something to change the violent hate between the houses, and brought in the idea of assigned seating. In the DADA classroom the desks sat two people and Professor Summers told everyone where they HAD to sit. It was just his luck that his seating partner happened to be Malfoy. Harry moaned and lay his head o the desk.  
  
"Something the matter Potty," came the expected snide remark from next to him.  
  
Harry tried his best to ignore him, scrunching up his fists in frustration. Malfoy smirked beside him.  
  
"Aww, is little Potty feeling depressed?" Malfoy taunted, "Why don't you call your Mudblood over here, I'm sure she'd be happy to cheer you up!"  
  
Harry had had enough. He called Hermionie a mudblood and implied that... well...  
  
"HOW DARE YOU!!!" Harry screamed, in his anger completely forgetting that were in class, and jumped Malfoy. Malfoy was so shocked at Harry's actions that he just stood there and allowed himself to be attacked for a few moments. The first punch from Harry brought him out of his stupified state of being and he started hitting back. The two boys rolled around on the floor for a while trying to get a good punch in, until both Malfoy and Harry jumped back to their feet. The circled one another, both hissing and growling at one another, until they became aware of the laughter coming from the front of the room.  
  
Both of the striking males turned their anger towards the Professor standing at the front of the room, holding her stomach as she laughed. The DADA professor became aware that the boys had stopped fighting and so gradually she stopped laughing and straightened up, meeting the glares of the boys' head on.  
  
"Man!" she exclaimed, "Can you guys just fuck and get it over with?!? Please!"  
  
A deadly silence lapsed over the room. Both Harry and Malfoy were socked out of their anger.  
  
"W-wh-what?!" Harry stuttered, Looking at the professor as if she were crazy. He turned his head to Malfoy giving him a once over before shaking his head at the absurdity of the professor's accusation, and returning his eyes to the offending personage. Draco had a very similar reaction to Harry, and instantly came to the conclusion that the professor was absolutely bonkers!  
  
"Oh please, don't tell me that I'm the only one who feels the sexual tension," she pleaded.  
  
The class remained silent, giving her blank stares of confusion.  
  
"Ok," the pretty, little, blond professor stated exasperated, "Forget I said anything, just pretend it never happened!"  
  
She rolled her eyes for dramatic effect.  
  
"Teenagers," she muttered. "But now I'm gunna hafta punish you for fighting in class, sorry boys. Hmmmm, but what shall it be..." she pondered upon the possiblities. "Detention seems like the obvious but in my experience never works in changing the behaviour of the student, taking house-points would be useless. Hmmmm... What oh what shall I do."  
  
After a few moment of thinking Professor Summers began to smirk.  
  
Uh oh!, Harry thought, now we've done it... He knew that look. It was the look Ron got when he had a brilliant plan, and it usually ended up with both of them in either detention or mortal danger.  
  
Malfoy also recognised 'The Look.' He had used it many a times himself and the results were never good. After some consideration Professor Summers decided that her plan, if it would not discipline them, would at the least, be hilariously amusing for her to watch, so she gave herself the go ahead with it, despite the ramifications of the her plan... Snape would be pissed for one, Harry would probably never trust her again. Malfoy would, without a doubt, try to kill her. On the bright side, she knew Dumbledore would find it amusing.  
  
"Adligatus," she said with a smirk.  
  
Harry's eyes had been shut tight, since he'd first seen her smirk, but after hearing her spell he didn't feel like a fish, or a tree, or anything equally as weird, so he felt it safe to open his eyes.  
  
He was wrong.  
  
The first thing he saw was Malfoy looking at his wrist in horror. The second was the chain that attached Malfoy's wrist to his. He looked up at the professor, disbelief clear in his eyes.  
  
She giggled. "I saw it once in an episode of 'The Simpsons'."  
  
To be continued... Please feedback! 


	2. Chapter 2 The Travesties of Teenage Life

Assigned Seats  
  
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)  
  
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enimy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..  
  
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.  
  
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.  
  
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5  
  
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS  
  
*Warning* Slash  
  
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...  
  
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.  
  
Chapter 2. The Travesties of Teenage Life  
  
Oh yeah, Draco thought. She was bloody bonkers! Beyond Bonkers! She should be strapped to a bed in St. Mungo's! And she was still giggling.  
  
"Ahhhhhh," Malfoy screamed in a rage, while trying to yank Harry's arm out of his arm pit, well that or break the chain that bound them together, but given Malfoy's record Harry thought that the first was more likely. "That won't do a thing you know!" She said in her annoying American accent between bouts of giggles. "That's it, we're going to see Snape! He should be able to fix this!"  
  
Sometimes Malfoy really was an idiot, Snape was a potions professor, besides Snape was away still away on an errand as far as he knew, they'd have better luck going to Flitwick, but he doubted that would work either. He had a sneaking suspicion that Professor Summers was the only one able to break this chain and end their punishment.  
  
Harry sighed.  
  
"What exactly do we have to do to get you to remove the chain?" he asked as calmly as was humanly possible with Malfoy trying to drag him into the hall.  
  
"Hmm, go half an hour without fighting and I may lengthen it a little," Professor Summers replied, mischief shining in hr eyes.  
  
"This is ridiculous," Harry said, fed up with the giggling American, "Shut up you git, Snape's not here, we'll go to Dumbledoor. He has to be able to reverse this!"  
  
Harry then proceeded to drag Malfoy from the classroom.  
  
Professor Summers just continued to giggle.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Yes, I see." Dumbledore murmured, more to himself than the two pupils standing before his desk, "Well this is a serious matter indeed!"  
  
Dumbledore stood back and paced around the boys, fingers running through his beard in a considering manner. "I guess you boys will just have to try and stop fighting then won't you?" Dumbledore continued, a teasing tone in his voice.  
  
"WHAT!?!" screamed Draco, "You can't expect us to stay like this!"  
  
"Sorry boys, but the Law says that there is nothing wrong with unusual punishments, unless they include the ones that were recently banned, and this one wasn't, given that it's probably never been used to punish school children before," Dumbledore drifted off.  
  
"I knew it was a good idea to hire her, Americans, always thinking outside the square."  
  
He chuckled.  
  
"Well you two better get back to class before Professor Summers gives you a detention," Dumbledore teased, before resuming the reading that the two bound boys had interrupted when they'd burst into his office.  
  
"Are you saying that you're going to do absolutely nothing," Harry said, only slightly more calmly than Malfoy.  
  
"Well my dear boy," Dumbledoor looked up from his book, "it is up to the teachers to punish you as they see fit. I have no control over it, I'm terribly sorry, but you're stuck like this until Professor Summers decides to release you."  
  
"But what about sleeping?" Harry whined plaintively.  
  
"Well for that I must suggest that you sort through you're differences quickly. Now boys, I have a lot of work to do. If you would ever so kindly return to your classes."  
  
Harry and Draco left the office, both feeling defeated.  
  
Draco looked at Harry.  
  
"Well, we're screwed!"  
  
To be Continued... Please Feedback! 


	3. Chapter 3 by Janey He’s ALIVE!

Assigned Seats  
  
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)  
  
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enimy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..  
  
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.  
  
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.  
  
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5  
  
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS  
  
*Warning* Slash  
  
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...  
  
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.  
  
Chapter 3 (by Janey ^.^) He's ALIVE!?!  
  
"It has been seen to." Dumbledore looked into the deep orb-like eyes of the man speaking. Severus Snape, reformed Deatheater now fighting for the Good of the wizarding world, had just returned from his little 'errand'. The purpose of said errand having been to garner as much information about the supposed whereabouts of one Lucius Malfoy. Raising one particularly fuzzy white eyebrow, Dumbledore asked, "And...?"  
  
Snape cleared his throat in apparent annoyance..."He is gone, and the place of which we had been informed he was hiding seems to have been... incorrect." "Ahhh, I see, a wild-goose chase, I presume. How unfortunate. Please Severus, if you would be so kind as to speak with Mr. Malfoy about this matter. I am certain he would like to know about this incident, especially as it concerns him specifically."  
  
"As you wish, Headmaster," Snape turned, and with a billow of his black robes left Dumbledore's office.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ms. Summers was trying, with all her might, which in this case was a substantial degree of will power, not to laugh. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy had, quite obviously, one of the most blantently sexual attractions that she had seen in all her days. As young as she may be, she had seen some pretty hot stuff, be it by way of love, life, and pure sex. Of course the subjects of her amusement didn't appear as cheerful about the fact as she. They were pretending to hate each other. That or, she assumed, they really were ignorant of their feelings, and had mistakenly thought that the powerful force drawing them towards each other was somehow malicious in intent. Thus the "Hating". Looking at the two of them, she couldn't help but think how bloody gorgeous they both were. Polar opposites perhaps? Harry with his russled dark hair and deep sorrowful gaze of emerald, and Draco with his effulgent shall we make this a word challenge Bec? i've used a couple ^.^ silver halo of locks, and those mysterious pale grey eyes. They looked to be about the same height. Six foot or so, give or take an inch between them. Standing shoulder to shoulder, as they were now, bound at the wrists, who could possibly not think about them going for it... even though both seemed to have been giving her daggers with their eyes...  
  
*SLAM*  
  
The attention of all three of them was drawn to the doorway...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Harry groaned. For once in his life couldn't he possibly get through a single day without a situation occuring in which he wouldn't be humiliated by?! Harry was basically hoping once again that he could apparate... or possibly just melt into the floor or... something! Not to mention the fact the he was STUCK to BLOODY MALFOY!!! Could life be any worse? He immediately squished that thought, knowing that thinking such things tended to bring them into the realm of reality. The brave Griffondor simply closed his eyes, thinking that this could sooo possibly kill him. Metaphorically, of course.  
  
Harry's eyes suddenly snapped open with the realization that both he and Malfoy were now airbourne. They both shrieked their dismay before tumbling into an ungainly heap behind the desks in the DADA classroom. Trying to figure out what in hell had just happened, Harry thought he should probably make sure Professor Summers was alright. Yanking his arm hard, Harry pulled himself and Malfoy into a position where nothing obscured their eyesight.  
  
Harry gaped. He couldn't help it, his DADA Professor had just somersaulted over her own desk at the front of the classroom, grabbed her wand from out of one of the desk drawers and lunged at the unsuspecting Snape. Harry was impressed. Greatly so, at that! But quickly his admiration turned to confusion... Why didn't she just blast him with her wand instead of preparing as though she was going to attack him physically with it.  
  
Snape screamed on impact. Like a girl, Harry thought in wonderment, and later undoubtedly with indescribable relish. The new DADA professor, as little as she was, had Snape pinned to the wall, with her wand aimed directly at his chest as if she wanted to make a Snape shishkabab. Talk about point blank range. Harry looked at her face, and noticed she looked extremely confused.  
  
"Y-you're ALIVE?!", she blurted with an incredulous expression gracing her petite features. Harry found that rather amusing, and voiced his opinion with a startled cackle. Malfoy seemed somewhat more offended upon the assumption that his Head of House was a corpse. But that was nothing compared to Snape's reaction...  
  
"AND WHY IN BLOODY HELL WOULD I BE ANYTHING *BUT* ALIVE?!" Snape looked livid. Not like she insulted his manhood or anything, Harry thought to himself.  
  
"Bu-bu-but my Spider-Sense was tingling..." Ms. Summers was now looking rather aggitated herself. Snape's vein stopped twitching as the expression "Are you crazy, woman?" stole over his facial features. Harry raised an eyebrow, recognising the reference to Spiderman. While Malfoy just frowned as if trying to figure out how to say a particularly nasty plant name.  
  
"Your what?" Snape finally seemed to have lost most of his outrage, and had instead taken to being quietly furious. "Umm... my Spider Sense?" All she got for her efforts on the dim-witted Slimeball was another blank look, Harry mused.  
  
"Perhaps I should rephrase that young lady. Who are you, what are you doing attacking a teacher, and why aren't the three of you in your classes?"  
  
It was Professor Summers' turn to look bemused, "Um, well. I'm Professor Summers." Shocked was a good way to describe Snape's face. Catatonic being slightly more specific.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"  
  
"I SAID "I'M PROFESSOR SUMMERS", ARE YOU DEAF OR HAS ALL THAT SLIME IN YOUR HAIR DRIPPED INTO YOUR EARS TO MAKE EXCESS EARWAX?! AND HOW DARE YOU SCREAM AT ME!" "HOW DARE *YOU* SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY, YOU LITTLE"...  
  
Harry simply wondered what Snape had been about to call Ms. Summers. He also guessed he'd never know considering she had pretty much just bludgeoned his face with her fist. Harry burst out laughing at this, it looked like the little DADA professor had QUITE a lot of punch. Harry turned slightly to take in Malfoy's expression. Yup. He had thought as much, catatonic shock all 'round today.  
  
He then noticed that the blonde bombshell (as he had just decided she most definitely was, and not in the usual way either) looked ready to go for seconds, and basically attempt to knock the magic out of Snape. Harry reached out and grapped her arm to restrain her, although... he would have greatly enjoyed to see her beat the crap out of Snape. Unfortunately, Harry ended up hurting himself slightly in the process, having forgotten that he was very much attached to someone at the wrist and what not.  
  
Snape groaned pitifully and got to his feet looking rather dazed. Pity he hadn't been knocked unconscious. That would have been a tale to tell generations of grandchildren. Harry almost *giggled* at the thought. Professer Summers was blushing, she appeared to be ashamed of the fact that she had just assaulted another staff member.  
  
"Oh my GOSH! I'm SO sorry!!! It's just that i tend to... um, well, honestly, hit first and ask questions later..." Snape's eyes were glistening evil-y by now, or perhaps it was the unshed tears from the pain in his jaw. "Draco. Ms. Summers. We are going to see the Headmaster." Snape turned and, with a billow of his black robes, began his journey back to Dumbledore's office.  
  
To be Continued... Please Feedback! 


	4. Chapter 4 Seriously in all Seriousness

Assigned Seats  
  
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)  
  
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enimy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..  
  
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.  
  
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.  
  
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5  
  
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS  
  
*Warning* Slash  
  
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...  
  
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.  
  
Chapter 4 seriously in all seriousness  
  
As soon as Snape had given his command Draco had all but forgotten that Harry was still attached, and blindly followed after Professor Summers, who in tern was following Snape. He head was hung as if she felt guilty, like a small child who knew they had done wrong. But her step was confident, almost defiant. Draco almost snorted but held back. She acted like a teenager.  
  
Harry gave a small yelp as his wrist was pulled towards the door. He felt for sure that when they eventually got out of these chains, both Draco and himself would have very bused wrists. Hell, if Draco kept tugging so hard there was a chance Harry's would be broken.  
  
Snape turned back to make sure that his orders were being followed. It was then that he noticed him tagging along. "And where exactly do you think you're going Mr Potter? Don't you have something better to do, like save a bus-load of innocent kindergarteners, or I don't know... CLASS?"  
  
The blond smiled. Thankfully with her head down her hair covered her expression. If the shadowy man had seen she had no doubt it was she he would be sticking in to, not Harry. Poor Harry though, that man, though she still had her doubts about him being human, was a lot to handle. She would stand up to him for Harry but she knew Harry could take it. Besides the dark Professor already had a bad impression of her and she didn't want to make it worse before they could all talk to Dumbledore (but after all bets were off).  
  
Harry turned red.  
  
"Umm... well you see... uh..."  
  
The petit professor couldn't help it; she let out a small laugh. Snape's piercing glare was quickly fixed on her. "And prey tell, what exactly is it that you find so amusing Professor?" Snape asked in a patronising voice. She let out a snort.  
  
"Oh stop laughing, this is your fault!" Draco seemed to have finally found his voice,  
  
It was then that Snape noticed the chain that bound the two students at the wrist.  
  
"Wh – What the HELL is THAT!?!"  
  
"She did it!" Draco exclaimed, pointing at the American with his free hand, "And she won't un-do it! We already went to see the Headmaster and her says he can't do anything about it"  
  
"You did that? Why? And what the hell were you thinking? They could kill each other!" Snape snarled angrily. The little blond snorted again.  
  
"The only thing that could possibly be hurt because of this are their clothes if they get so impatient that they rip them off each other."  
  
Snape gawked. He stared in stony silence at Hogwarts new professor. Where the hell had Dumbledore found her!?! "Ar-are you INSANE?" Surprisingly it was Harry who screamed it; "You're delusional! I don't know what the hell is going on in your head but whatever it is STOP IT!"  
  
"Geese, drama queen much?" was the only reply he got.  
  
With that Professor Summers took the lead and headed off towards Dumbledore's office, leaving a stuttering Snape (not something you see every day...or ever!) and a raging Harry. Draco had no choice but to remain where Harry was, throwing a small temper tantrum. Snape seemed frozen, as if the images in his head were to disturbing for him to even contemplate, which Draco could understand perfectly.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Ten minutes later Snape, Draco and Harry walked into the Headmaster's office to find the DADA Professor sitting in a comfortable looking armchair, sipping tea and chatting with Dumbledore as if they had known each other forever. She smiled as they entered.  
  
"Finally!" she said cheekily.  
  
"Buffy, please, I'm not sure they are capable of handling so much of a shock in such a short time. Be patient." She looked down, slightly guilty.  
  
"Headmaster, what the hell is going on?" Snape asked with barely controlled anger.  
  
"Please boys have a seat," Dumbledore invited, as he transfigured a chair into a love seat, big enough for both boys to sit comfortably with their bondage. Snape, of course, stayed standing in an intimidating pose.  
  
"Now, perhaps a proper introduction is in order. Buffy, I'd like you to meet Severus Snape, the potions professor at Hogwarts," Buffy nodded in acknowledgment at Dumbledore's introduction. Snape sneered.  
  
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, causing Severus's expression to calm a little.  
  
"And Severus, I'd like you to meet Buffy the Vampire Slayer."  
  
There was a pause, as if Dumbledore expected a reaction of sorts.  
  
"Am I supposed to be impressed? Since three years ago Slayers are almost as common as wizards, and before that, few lived past 18, nothing to be impressed about."  
  
"Well I suppose but this is the vampire slayer. The one that caused all the others to be called, and before that she lived for 8 years as a slayer, well past 18. She stopped more apocalypses that many can count, not to mention survived her own death... twice."  
  
Snape's eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"I heard she was dead..."  
  
"Not dead, just... taking a break," Buffy informed Snape, "and sorry about the whole, trying to steak you thing. I kinda thought you were a vamp, witness my surprise when I heard a hear beat. I mean, you've got to admit, you have that pasty dead complexion, not to mention the wardrobe. Do you own anything in a colour other than black? And on a completely unrelated topic, what's with the grease?"  
  
Snape scowled.  
  
Sitting quietly, Harry and Draco listened to the conversation. Interesting was a term to describe it, unbelievable was a more accurate one. No doubt they had both heard of the legendary Slayer. The greatest Slayer of all time, but both had thought her merely a myth, to promote the power of the slayers and to make demons everywhere fear. It was surreal to think that she was at Hogwarts, sitting merely a few feet away, teaching them Defence Against the Dark Arts. Harry had been right when he thought he was the best DADA professor they had had; she would probably be the best professor that Hogwarts ever had. They both realised then that they were in the presence of greatness... and she was insane!  
  
To be Continued... Please Feedback 


	5. Chapter 5 Raw Centre?

Assigned Seats  
  
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)  
  
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enimy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..  
  
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.  
  
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.  
  
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5  
  
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS  
  
*Warning* Slash  
  
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...  
  
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.  
  
Chapter 5 Raw Centre?  
  
"Well it looks like you don't need us, so we'll just be going on to transfiguration. We're late as it is," Harry broke the silence that had descended upon the room.  
  
"Not so fast Potter," Snape said, focusing in on the boys, "I want to know how that happened first," he pointed at their bound hands, "and then I have to speak to Draco... in private!" The sneer was back on his face.  
  
"I should probably take the first one, don't you think boys?" Buffy started, a smile played at her lips. "This is a punishment. These two got into a fight in my class."  
  
"So you bound them together!?! Do you have brain damage from hitting your head in one too many fights or something!?!"  
  
"No, I just see what others don't. You've all been here for so long that you expect everything to be the same. As I'm new to the school, I observe things; I can see what has changed when others can't. You're all stuck in your past pretences, I'm just trying to show you a different point of view. And these two have changed from when you first met them; I can assure you of that. Besides it's the only way they may learn to stop fighting, because after five years of detention... well, I can see how well that worked. Plus it's hilarious to watch, you've got to admit! And that's what it's all about"  
  
Snape threw up his hands in frustration.  
  
"Well un-do it! NOW!"  
  
"NO. Not until they've learnt their lesson. That or until they sleep together, whichever comes first," Buffy said cheerfully with a shrug.  
  
"Perhaps you should talk to Draco later Severus, when he's... learnt his lesson," Dumbledore said in a slightly more serious tone, "Now boys, I think you've missed enough class don't you? I'll write you a pass and then you can be off. And if the chain isn't gone by dinner time come back to my office and we'll discuss sleeping arrangements." With that the boys were forced out of the office leaving a seething Snape behind in his anger. Buffy was giggling quietly in her chair.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The boys made their way down a dark corridor on the way to transfiguration. Harry stopped, pulling Draco to a stop as well.  
  
"What is it?" Draco said snidely.  
  
"I want to propose a truce, at least until we get the off," Harry said lifting his wrist in explanation. Draco glared, but quickly realised that it was the only way to get out of this experience unscathed.  
  
"Fine, but tonight we're going to the library."  
  
Harry grinned impishly.  
  
"You want to research the slayer to huh?"  
  
Draco glared.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Hours later Buffy sat at her desk, thinking about her second day of teaching at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She smiled slightly when she recalled her second lesson of sixth year Griffondors and Slytherings. The two gorgeous guys, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, were so obviously in love. It was surprising that that fact seemed to elude just about all the other students in the class, and most of the teachers too, she had no doubt. She had not smiled so much, let alone laughed, in a very long time, and with that thought she knew that coming to Hogwarts was the right idea.  
  
Just two weeks ago she knew she was baked, cookies, but she just couldn't go back to LA. And she knew exactly why, but didn't want to admit it to herself. Which is why, when Albus had offered her the teaching position, which she knew she would be perfect for, she had accepted. Later that day she cashed in her ticket back to LA and bought one for the Hogwarts express, and the reason? Well the reason was that she was terrified. She was so scared that she would go back and no body would want her, especially after the damage her friends had done when they had kicked her out in their last Sunnydale apocalypse. But most of all she was scared that Angel would realise that she wasn't worth waiting for, or that he had moved on to someone better, or that he didn't love her any more, or worse, he never loved her in the first place.  
  
Tears welled in her eyes, but she brushed them away angrily. She shouldn't be thinking things like this, she knew, but she couldn't help it. She had been gone so long. And these insecurities were the reason that she was still in Britain, well to be more precised in Scotland, rather than California, and yet she couldn't bring herself to regret her decision. Maybe this was where she was supposed to be for now. Maybe she was needed, which was part of the reason for her special punishment for her now two favourite boys. If anyone needed a nudge, or kick, in the right direction, it was definitely those two!  
  
In a way they reminded her of Angel and Spike, both in looks and mannerisms. Draco was gorgeous, with his almost white hair and pale complexion, and he was growing into his cheekbones. And if she didn't know that Spike bleached his hair every week, she would have thought them to be related. But he was also fierce and powerful, like a dragon. He was 'Dom', he knew it and he used it to his advantage. He was cunning and devious, but also like Spike he had very little patience, not to mention a fiery temper.  
  
Harry on the other hand was Draco's opposite, and yet at the same time they were so similar. He was like Angel, tall, dark and brooding. After hearing about what had happened during his short life she could understand why, especially since she had a very similar tragic life of death and evil. He was devastatingly hansom and he didn't realise it, again like Angel (though Angelus). Just about all the girls and half the guys in the school fantasised about Harry on a regular basis, but few had approached him, seeing him as an elusive dream, only pain could come out of that sort of relationship, that she knew for certain. He was like a loin, fiercely protective of his own. That of course had been confirmed when she had overheard the argument that had started her little experimentive punishment. Harry was loyal, and like Draco a born leader, though he had not quite grown into the position yet. He was also good with masks. She could understand why of course, using her mask often. It was hard to have so many conflicting emotions that no one seemed to get, it was just easier to put on a mask and pretend everything was perfect. Draco, she thought, had perfected his ask long ago, while Harry's was still new.  
  
Both of them had had hard and painful lives, deprived of the love they needed to thrive, which was probably the reason they had not figured it out yet. Being so unfamiliar with the feeling of love for each other they had mistaken them as hate, but like Angel and Spike they loved each other to the point of pain, but would never admit it, well, without some help, that is.  
  
And from now on that's what she was... Help!  
  
To be Continued... Please Feedback! 


	6. Chapter 6 Golden Goddess

Assigned Seats  
  
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)  
  
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enimy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..  
  
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.  
  
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.  
  
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5  
  
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS  
  
*Warning* Slash  
  
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...  
  
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.  
  
Chapter 6 Golden Goddess  
  
(For the purpose of this fic Angel:ts hasn't changed much from season 5 ep 1. Spike is a ghost and has remained a ghost for 3 years. Neither Spike nor Angel has spoken to Buffy for 2 years, and they are both still mooning over her. They have grown accustom to being around each other again so they are close and occasionally civil! And unfortunately Cordy isn't dead, yet... but she will be. Mwahahahaha. Also for thoes who don't know Angel and Eve slept together at a halloween party, and lets never speak of it again!)  
  
Angel smiled and looked up from the picnic rug he was lounging on, soaking up the sun. His golden goddess smiled down at him. 'She's perfect,' was all he could think, 'standing there in the sunlight in the middle of the busy park.' Well that and, 'I want to tear her clothes off, shove her down to the rug and fuck her hard and long for everyone to see she's mine.'  
  
She giggled as if she had heard his thoughts, and reached out her hand. Angel immediately took it; he would follow her anywhere, to hell even. She continued to giggle as she lead him out of the park and back to the Hyperian Hotel. She led him up the stairs, smiling and laughing the whole way. She didn't speak; she was like a teasing pixie. Angel was pulled into their room before she slammed the door behind him and shoved him to the bed. He began to slowly unbutton his shirt while his goddess watched, smiling the whole time.  
  
When his shirt was undone and his chest exposed she finally began to move. She pushed down the straps of the pure white sundress she was wearing before slowly shimmying out of it. Her body was bare for him to see except for the white lace bra and panties. They made her look sweet and innocent, virginal, but the look in her eyes was anything but. Hunger and lust shone through and Angel felt so loved, knowing that the look was for him.  
  
"I love you," he heard. A whisper on the breeze though her lips hadn't seemed to have moved.  
  
She took a step towards him, swaying her hips seductively, and then another until her knees reached the bed. Her hand reached down and weaved itself into his hair. The soft touch was suddenly gone as she gripped his hair in a vice like grip, pulling his head back for her convenience. Her desperate and dominant actions only made his cock harder. She gently leaned down then, more deserving of his name than him, and pressed her lips ever so lightly to his. She pulled away slightly, her lips milia-meters away from his, her fingers still holding his head firmly. He could feel her warm breath against his lips and he savoured the feel.  
  
"Buffy," he whispered.  
  
She just smiled gently.  
  
"Angel, you have to wake up."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Angel, Angel can you hear me? You have to wake up! Your two o'clock is here!"  
  
Angel was startled out of his pleasant fantasy by the sounds of Harmony's whiney voice. She was a blond, but not the right one. Damn he missed Buffy. She was all he ever though about. Her and the fact that she had yet to come home, to be cookies. Hell, he hadn't talked to her in two years, after she had left Rome to travel. He didn't know if she was ever going to come back, if she was ever going to be cookies for him.  
  
He growled in frustration, it was no use getting worked up over it. She would come back when she was ready and there was nothing he could do to change it, so he had to put her at the back of his mind... well at least until this meeting was over. He looked down and saw a tent in his pants, as his cock strained against the zipper. He growled again.  
  
Someone chuckled from the shadowy corner of Angel's office.  
  
"Sorry mate, I would help you with that but well..."  
  
Spike moved his hand through a lamp to demonstrate.  
  
"Spike, how long have you been here?"  
  
"Long enough to see you work yourself up into a right uncomfortable spot! Maybe a cold shower could help, or you could go up to your nice cosy apartment and have a wank. Or better yet go find Eve, she's practically begging for it, ever since that Halloween Party incident."  
  
Angel groaned, "Spike, get gone. I have a client."  
  
He sild his chair under the desk to hide his erection and pressed the button on his intercom.  
  
"It's ok Harmony. Send them in."  
  
"You got it boss," came the annoyingly cheerful reply.  
  
Angel sighed; this was going to be another long day.  
  
The door to his office swept open, admitting two shadowy figures. The first wore long hooded robes that covered everything but his eyes, small piercing slits of red that looked straight through your soul. They were empty, cold, his own soul long gone or buried deep within. The second man followed, a servant to the first. His will no longer there. He was a beautiful man with long blond hair that reached to mid-back and deep stone grey eyes. He had a disciplined hardness about him, standing ramrod straight, eyes fixed ahead and his face expressionless. He wore black slacks, an Italian silk shirt, if Angel was not mistaken, and a think black cloak.  
  
"Geese Peaches! Are you and Blondie over there related or something? You sure do share the same taste in wardrobe." Spike stood and walked around the blond, "This Italian mate?" he said, gesturing at the shirt.  
  
His only reply was a nod.  
  
"Excussss Lucious. He doesssn't play well with othersss." The robed figure hissed, similar to that of a snake. "Neither does Spike," Angel replied. "You must be Mr. Riddle. It's nice to meet you." Angel extended his and over his desk, not standing for fear of exposure, his cock still stiff in his pants.  
  
A cold clammy palm met his for a brief second.  
  
"The pleasssure isss all mine Mr Angel, and pleassse, call me Tom."  
  
"Why don't you two have a seat," Angel offered gesturing towards two comfortable looking chairs in front of his desk. "Now onto business. You wanted to see me?"  
  
"Ahhhh Yesss. We ned some legal expertissse. It'ssss to do with Lucious' son. After Lucious wasss taken in to cussstody, hisss wife wasss taken to a mental ward in St. Mungo'sss and cussstody of Draco wasss given to the Headmassster off Draco's boarding school, Hogwartsss. Lucious wantsss hiss son back, by any meansss."  
  
"I take it that means that you should still be in prison?" Angel asked Lucious.  
  
The only reply he got was a nod.  
  
"I'm sorry but I really can't do anything for you. You're supposed to be in jail so nothing legal will ever go through, no matter how much we manipulate the judge or jury."  
  
"We can give you something in return," Lucious finally spoke.  
  
Angel merely raised an eyebrow. Lucious continued.  
  
"First off we could fix the problem with your soul. When we're done there will be no possible way for you to loose it. We can also make you immune to the things that normally threaten vampires. Sunlight, holy water and crosses mainly, though not steaks and fire, we cannot make you immortal. We could also make him," Lucious jerked his head in Spike's direction, "corporeal."  
  
Angel sighed, he knew he would have to accept the deal. He could have turned it down for his sake, but when Lucious had finished speaking he has seen the hope and desperation in Spike's eyes. They pleaded with him to accept, and Spike was family, he couldn't refuse.  
  
He looked up with a nod at Tom, "What can we do?"  
  
Voldomort smirked. Wolfram and Heart was playing right into his hands.  
  
To be Continued... Please Feedback! 


	7. Chater 7 Doesn't it just make you wanna ...

Assigned Seats  
  
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)  
  
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enimy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..  
  
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.  
  
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.  
  
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5  
  
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS  
  
Warning Slash  
  
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...  
  
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.  
  
Chapter 7. Doesn't it just make you wanna drool?!  
  
Their truce had worked. Well, at least for the five minutes after they had made it, which was at about the time when they reached Transfiguration. Thankfully McGonagall was not yet there, the pair didn't particularly want to fight of the bombardment of questions about their bondage that was sure to come, as they had done from the students in the halls. But that also meant she was not there to break up their fight. The fight which was, of course, inevitable.  
  
Harry of course had wanted to sit with his two best friends, Ron and Hermione. Draco had plainly refused, saying he didn't mind if they didn't sit with his lackeys (well... he didn't use that exact word...) but so long as they didn't sit with 'The Dream Team,' as he referred to Harry's friends, he said he was happy.  
  
That just pissed Harry off, and seconds later they were on the floor, getting at it... well not IT it, but, trying to get a good hit in with their... restrictions. They were still going at it when McGonagall entered the classroom five minutes later.  
  
McGonagall tried to flick her wand to part them, but was quickly disappointed. Several spells later the two rivals were still on the floor and McGonagall was starting to definitely getting wet... all that extra magical exertion at her age was really making her sweat. She realised that she would have to resort to physical measures and leant down and scooped Harry up into her arms. She didn't think Mr. Malfoy would have taken too kindly to such an action, probably would have hurt his overly large ego, so she thought it best to pick up Harry, that and the fact that Harry was just the slightest bit smaller than Mr. Malfoy. 'Who wants to make their job harder', thought Minerva to herself.  
  
The class gasped at her hidden strength, but Harry seemed to be heavier than she had originally thought, his weight almost making her drop him. It was then that she noticed that she had not only lifted Harry but Draco as well, since they were attached at the wrist. Her total shock caused her to drop both boys.  
  
Harry yelped as he was dropped three feet onto a soft body. The fall had not particularly hurt, it had simply startled him. He heard a groan, and noticed that the soft body underneath him was Draco. The fight was immediately forgotten as Harry unwillingly savoured the feel of Draco's soft flesh beneath his.  
  
Draco was having the same problem with one alternate factor. The fall had hurt a bloody hell of a lot. Harry's crushing weight falling on his did not help in the slightest. But he found that despite the pain Harry on top of him was not exactly a bad thing. Sure he'd prefer to be on top but he could stand being submissive, for a while anyway. Especially if it all felt like this. The body on top of him was warm and comfortable. Lighter than it should have been though. Draco could feel Harry's ribs poking him. He made a mental note to himself to get Harry to eat more in the future. Draco, although proud of his cool exterior, could feel a slow blush coming to his normally pale cheeks. His eyes widened, and his breath was coming in a slightly sporadic manner... Harry was squirming on his lap. He almost moaned aloud at the sensations of Harry moving on top of him...  
  
Harry also looked quite flustered, but still took his time to scramble of Draco. He didn't want to hurt him, especially since he looked like he was in some serious pain, what with his heavy breathing and the groans that Harry had heard rumbling in Draco's impressive chest... 'Oh my...' thought Harry, 'did I just think that his chest was impressive?' Harry didn't know why he felt slightly disappointed at the thought of getting off of Draco, yet he decided he also didn't want to obviously linger as that would have initiated the suspicions of McGonagall, as well as his friends... or should he say Hermione. Seeing as Ron quite enjoyed to live in oblivion. When both Harry and Draco were standing, neither could keep eye contact with the other, Harry looking at his shoes while shuffling his feet. Draco on the other hand was proudly looking around the room, daring anyone to challenge him, or Harry now, he supposed, as they were joined.  
  
McGonagall looked ready to kill.  
  
"Detention! Both of you, for fighting in class. Mr. Potter, I would have expected more from a student in my own house... and Mr. Malfoy, I'm sure that Professor Snape will be equally disappointed. Now, tell me, what have you done here," she pointed towards the chain which was gently swaying between their joined wrists. "Did Mr. Weasley get a spell wrong, perhaps?"  
  
Ron's mouth gaped in outrage, he looked like a crimson coloured goldfish. Before he could object the Professor's claim Hermione, seeing his anger, stepped in.  
  
"Well you see, Professor, they're being punished." Hermione started.  
  
"Punished," McGonagall gasped in shock, "by who? Surely not Albus. Severus would never be so stupid. Who on Earth?"  
  
"It was that crazy American. My father told me all Americans were idiots. I never really believed him until now," Draco pondered.  
  
"Oh, shut up, you git," Hermionie scolded. "She's not crazy, in fact I think she's bloody brilliant! If there is one way to get you two to stop fighting, it's this! I'm just surprised nobody thought of it before, even me. Though I don't totally agree on the other thing she said... That was just kind of disturbing..." Hermione shuddered.  
  
"Given the circumstances, I'm not really sure I even want to ask..." McGonagall said wearily.  
  
One Lavender Brown, always the gossip queen, decided to enlighten the innocent Professor.  
  
"Well she thinks that Harry and Malfoy are secretly in love with each other and that they want to boink each others brains out, possibly until they pass out from exhaustion, only they don't know it yet," she said, rather tactlessly. "And after some careful consideration and conversation with my friends," she gestured towards Patil, "we wholeheartedly agree. I mean, how HOT would that be! Doesn't it just make you wanna drool?!"  
  
Ron looked like he was about to be sick, that or his intestines were about to explode. Professor McGonagall looked as if she had put her hand on an overly large bug, and it's insect fluids had just splattered all over her bare skin, her eyes looked ready to POP! right out of her eyesockets.  
  
"Thank you ever so much for that girls," the usually calm woman managed, with a healthy dollop of what could basically be seen as typical British humour. She closed her eyes, warding off the extremely vivid images that the topic brought into mind. "Perhaps now everyone can take their seats and we can get on with the lesson," she continued, slightly more confidently.  
  
Many of the students sighed, their excitement over for the moment. Little did they know that it was just about to get good.  
  
"Albus Dumbledore, is it?" the black man sitting across from the headmaster asked.  
  
Severus sneered. He should show more respect.  
  
"Let's get right down to business. My name is Charles Gunn. I work for the Law Firm Wolfram and Hart. I understand that you currently have guardianship of one Draconis Malfoy. Is that correct?"  
  
Dumbledore looked rather shocked, which is difficult to imagine, as he normally his only expression pertained that damn twinkle.  
  
"Yes, I do indeed have custody of Draco, and I hope you do not mind me inquiring as to what exactly this has got to do with anything?" he asked confused.  
  
"Well my client has recently discovered his brothers disappearance and wishes for the custody of his nephew."  
  
"Nephew? I'm afraid to inform you that Lucius Malfoy is an only child. He has no siblings."  
  
"That is where you are incorrect. Lucius Malfoy had a half brother; his mother was a muggle. He had lived in America all his life. I merely came to inform you of the change, the papers have already been submitted and are likely to be passed by the ministry any day now. Mr. Malfoy is requested for the Christmas holidays. Someone will be there to pick him up from the London Station. And if that's all I should be off, I have a long flight back home."  
  
Gunn quickly exited the office, leaving no time for the men inside to reply. He could feel the tension building up in the room, and knew he was lucky to have escaped unscathed. He frowned lightly, the old man had been right. Lucious Malfoy had no siblings. He hated lying to them, but it was a special job for Angel and it had to be done. Gunn was the only person he trusted enough to get it done correctly.  
  
Gunn sighed. He really did have a long flight home.  
  
Severus Snape sneered inside the office.  
  
"Lucious Malfoy has no siblings!" he said firmly, "If he did I would know about it."  
  
"I know Severus, no one is blaming you, except maybe yourself. Now the question is why does Lucius want is son back so badly?" Dumbledore wondered.  
  
"Are we certain it is Lucius doing this?" Snape asked.  
  
"Well I can say with a fair degree of certainty that it is. Who else could possibly need Draco?"  
  
Snape still did not look convinced.  
  
"I suppose..."  
  
end of chapter 7 Please Feedback! 


	8. Chapter 8 Nightmares of When

Assigned Seats  
  
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)  
  
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enimy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..  
  
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.  
  
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.  
  
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5  
  
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS  
  
Warning Slash  
  
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...  
  
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.  
  
Chapter 8. Nightmares of When...  
  
The two defeated boys trudged down the corridor, still bound, towards the gargoyle that guarded the Headmasters office. Moments later Harry knocked on the heavy wooden door, before it silently opened, admitting them into the circular room.  
  
Dumbledore sat at his desk, staring into space, a worried look upon his face. When Harry and Draco entered he jumped slightly before smiling softly at the two boys.  
  
"Ahh," he muttered more to himself than them, "You're here."  
  
He sighed wearily, dreading breaking the news to one of his best students.  
  
"Please have a seat. Before we start talking about sleeping arrangements, I'm afraid that I have something important which I must talk to you about Draco."  
  
Draco looked surprised, but nodded his assent to continue.  
  
"As you know, Severus just got back from a mission for the Order of the Phoenix,"  
  
Harry interrupted him there.  
  
"You're telling Malfoy about the Order of the Phoenix? His father's a Death Eater!"  
  
"I'm well aware of that Harry, and so is Draco. When his father was captured he came to me asking for help."  
  
Draco who had been silent spoke up. "You actually think I would serve that crazy bastard. I may hate you Potter but I'm not evil, and don't particularly feel like killing three-quarters of the wizarding population. Besides," Draco held his head high, his eyes proud, "I bow to no man."  
  
Harry fell silent, seeing the truth in Draco's eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry Headmaster," he sighed, "please continue."  
  
Dumbledore looked faintly amused at the pair before he continued in his explanation.  
  
"I sent Severus after a lead we had on Lucius after his escape from Azkaban, as you know Draco. It turns out that the lead was nothing but a wild goose chase, I'm sorry to say."  
  
"I didn't expect you to find him," Draco said, "so don't worry, I didn't get my hopes up or anything."  
  
Dumbledore looked slightly defeated.  
  
"But that is not all Draco. Earlier today, after you left my office, I was visited by a lawyer from America. He informed me that Lucius' brother has been found in Los Angeles and wants custody of you. The papers have already been submitted to the ministry, and as no relation to you Draco, I'm sorry but I have no right to challenge the claim, and if I did I would be rejected. I'm truly very sorry Draco."  
  
"My father does not have a brother. If he did I would have known!"  
  
"I know Draco, we believe that it is actually you father. But do you have any idea why he would want you so badly as to go to this extent? Creating an imaginary sibling for himself?"  
  
Draco looked lost, his throat was choked with unshed tears. He was going to die, he thought impassively. He managed to shake his head in the headmaster direction. He knew his father would want to kill him, but he had expected him to wait at east until the war.  
  
Harry looked worriedly towards the stony faced Slytherin. True his face was usually stony, but now he could tell that Draco was really upset. Wait, when had he started calling Malfoy Draco? He reached over and took the other boys hand. Draco did not object.  
  
"I'm surprised actually," Dumbledore continued, "That he didn't just pull you out of school immediately, but I suppose that would look slightly suspicious to the Ministry. He does want to spend the Christmas Holidays with you though. I've been told that someone will be waiting at Kings Cross Station to accompany you to California, at the end of the school term. We'll have to see what we can do before then. Maybe you could feign an illness so severe that you cannot be moved for two weeks, or something along those lines. You are a Slytherin after all, I'm sure you'll be able to come up with some devious plan. As for you sleeping arrangements I have prepared a private room for the two of you to stay in for the time of your punishment. All your things have already been moved there. Now, Miss Summers wants a word with both of you, so stop by her office and when she's done she'll take you to your new room and tell you the password. Off you go then."  
  
Harry practically had to drag a shell-shocked Draco out of the room, but soon they were walking down yet another corridor on the way the Professor Summers office. They were quickly welcomed in by a smiling Buffy. She led them through her office to another comfortable looking room with several couches and a couple of tables. There was a fire in the fireplace, giving the room a cheerful atmosphere. The walls were lined with books. Splashes of colour were thrown everywhere, with no particular colour scheme, but it worked, and gave the room a lovely feeling.  
  
Harry steered Draco towards a big fluffy couch, covered in multi-coloured cushions. When Harry had him sitting he became dead weight, leaning on Harry; his head rested on Harry's shoulder. Harry looked very worried, the news had really affected him in a big way, otherwise Harry doubted he would ever be willing to touch him.  
  
Buffy, seeing both of the boys' moods, quickly exited as soon as she had shown then the room and returned minutes later with a tray of hot chocolate and cookies. Settling down on the coffee table in front of the boys she pressed a cup into both of the boys hands. Minutes later they were both empty and the boys didn't look much happier.  
  
"Must have been really bad news then. Anyone want to tell me what happened? Harry. Seeing you're the only coherent one I'm going to go with you."  
  
Harry sighed softly and told the professor what they had just found out in the Headmasters office. Buffy looked on the verge of tears by the time he had finished. She pulled both boys into a very motherly hug, which seemed to wake Draco. He began crying on her shoulder. They sat there in a three- way hug for a very long time, until Draco could stop crying.  
  
"What we need," Buffy said, stretching out her muscles after being in the same position for so long, "Is comfort food and a chick flick."  
  
Harry and Draco looked confused.  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrows.  
  
"Oh right, I forgot. You're British."  
  
She led them into another room, her bedroom, and settled them on the huge bed, in a pile of pillows.  
  
Harry gasped when he noticed the massive TV and Stereo system.  
  
"I thought muggle technology didn't work at Hogwarts because of all the magic."  
  
Buffy looked up from where she was looking through her extensive collection of DVDs.  
  
"I did a few spells on them, and voila, entertainment central."  
  
She picked out 'Ten Things I Hate About You' and slipped the disk into the player, before she climbed onto the bed to join Harry and Draco.  
  
Two hours and six bowls of ice cream later, Draco was dozing in the comfortable sea of pillows, while Buffy and Harry chatted, mainly about Harry's life. Buffy glanced at the clock on the wall before sighing.  
  
"I'd better get you two to your room then. I have no problem with the two of you staying her but some other teachers may... frown upon it."  
  
Harry stood from the bed and Buffy effortlessly picked up Draco. He mumbled something but didn't wake.  
  
She led Harry down to hall to a carving of an Angel in the wall.  
  
"Your password is unrequited love," she said with a smirk.  
  
Harry scowled.  
  
He had little time to look around the room they entered but he noticed it was a lounge very similar to the one Buffy had (After two hours, Buffy had managed to convince them to call her Buffy out of class.). Harry was forced to follow Buffy as she had his other half, so to speak. She pulled Harry into the bedroom before placing Draco down into the comfortable bed. Harry had no choice but to follow. She pointed out the bathroom to Harry before tucking both of them in. She turned out the light as she exited, a "sweet dreams" muttered in their direction.  
  
Violent thrashing from next to him awaked Draco. At first he was confused but when he heard the pained cry from the boy next to him he remembered his eventful day. He watched, shocked, as Harry writhed next to him, trapped in his own mind. Before he knew what he was doing, his hands reached out to shake the boy awake. It didn't work and Harry continued to scream. Draco ended up straddling Harry and slapping him in order to wake him. Deep down he had been terrified that Harry would never wake up, but he refused to think of it.  
  
Harry's eyelids flicked open, startled by the vision that met him, Draco's beautiful face. Still half asleep he reached his hand up to touch Draco's face, cupping his cheek. Draco nuzzled into the touch, desperate for proof that Harry was real and alive. Soon though, Harry's eyes filled with terror, his nightmare finally remembered. He gasped for breath, needing more air in his lungs.  
  
Draco stoked his hair in a comforting manner.  
  
"Shhh, it's alright. It was only a nightmare. Just a dream. Now breath. In and Out."  
  
Harry followed his instructions the panic gradually leaving him. His tear filled eyes looked up into Draco's, pleading for something, neither of them knew what.  
  
"What did you dream about?" Draco asked gently.  
  
A silent tear trickled down Harry's cheek. Draco fought the urge to lean down and lick it away.  
  
"Sirius," Harry muttered quietly.  
  
After joining the Order, Draco had heard all about Sirus Black and what had happened. He sighed knowing nothing he could do would make it any better, but he could at least try.  
  
Draco's soft lips pressed gently against his. Harry sighed in pleasure before pulling away. Confusion clouded his eyes.  
  
"But..."  
  
Draco stoped him with a finger across Harry's lips.  
  
"Don't try to rationalise Potter, now go back to sleep."  
  
Harry immediately obeyed, too tired to fight with Draco. As soon as he shut his eyes he drifted off into oblivion. Before he fell into a deep sleep he felt those sweet lips pressed to his forehead again.  
  
'Maybe Professor Summers wasn't all wrong' was Harry's last thought before he was lost in a world of dreams.  
  
To be continued... Please Review! 


	9. Chapter 9 Nobody switches like switches ...

Assigned Seats  
  
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)  
  
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enimy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..  
  
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.  
  
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.  
  
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5  
  
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS  
  
Warning Slash  
  
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...  
  
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.  
  
Chapter 9. Nobody switches like switches do switch.  
  
Voldomort looked at his most treasured and beautiful minion.  
  
"It issss doneee?"  
  
"Yes My Lord. We may proceed with their reward."  
  
Voldomort's face twisted into what must be a smirk.  
  
"Eeeexsssselent"  
  
Spike looked down at his sleeping sire and sighed. He knew Angel had not wanted to make a deal with the stuffy wizard types, but had done so for him, and while any would think he had done it for himself too, they really didn't know Angel. Not like he did.  
  
Because of his stupid need to become corporeal he had probably ruined some kids life. How was he supposed to live with that? Well he supposed he had lived with a lot more, trying to rape Buffy for one, but in those incidents he could comfort himself with the fact that he didn't have a soul. After being with Angel and Angelus for so long he could understand the difference, but he had hurt someone with a soul. Did that just mean he was a bad person soul or not?  
  
He sighed again and slipped into bed with his sire, the little comfort he had. Angel would probably kick his translucent ass in the morning but for tonight everything was fine. Spike drifted off to sleep with the knowledge that his sire was close by, protecting him. He smiled; all he had ever wanted was Angelus or Angel's acceptance.  
  
Buffy stood in front of he class of first years. Gryffindor and Slytherin, it seemed that history was doomed to repeat itself. One boy spat a spit-wad at another. Buffy sighed. She had a lot of work to do if she wanted to stop this destructive inter-house rivalry.  
  
She swayed slightly, a dizzy feeling suddenly coming over her. Black spots appeared in front of her eyes. And then she felt a tearing. Something was tearing at her soul, pulling it from her body. Buffy did the only thing she could do, she screamed.  
  
The class watched, rivalry over, as their teacher screamed and dropped to the ground.  
  
For a few seconds it was pure panic. A few of the girls were screaming, terrified that the invisible monster would come after them. Others bustled around Buffy to see what had happened.  
  
A slythering by the name of Toby finally stepped up as leader.  
  
"Everyone step back," he shouted, "she needs some air!"  
  
Desperate for someone to take over control they all obeyed.  
  
"And you, all shut up!"  
  
He motioned towards the girls huddled in the corner, whimpering crying and generally screaming their throats raw.  
  
"Now you," He pointed to a calm looking Gryffindor, "Go get McGonagall."  
  
The boys quickly exited.  
  
Toby pointed to a fellow Slytherin.  
  
"Snape," was all he said before the boy scampered from the room towards the dungeons.  
  
"Does anyone know where the Headmaster'ss office is?" he questioned the remaining students.  
  
A Gryffindor and Slytherin both tentatively raised their hands.  
  
"Good, go," he ordered.  
  
He looked towards a Gryffindor girl.  
  
She smiled at him, "Madame Pomfrey right?" she asked.  
  
He merely nodded.  
  
After everyone had left to find their allocated professor or nurse, Toby went over to the form of their Professor. Her body was shaking, almost like she was having an epileptic fit.  
  
"Someone get me a jacket," he ordered.  
  
A soft cashmere jumper was quickly pressed into him hands. He pushed it under the Professors convulsing head, before pushing down on her shoulders, trying to stop her fit before she hurt herself.  
  
Harry moaned silently in dread. Snape had been giving him looks, well not looks, smiles. Evil smiles that tell you that someone is going to get you BAD. He shuddered, before looking next to him. Draco was pretending like nothing had happened, last night with Buffy or in bed with him. A pleasurable feeling worked its way up his spine as he thought of 'The Kiss.' It had been fantastic. He had been kissed by a lot of people before, both male and female, but it had never felt like last night. He felt like he had been drowning in pleasure from a simple touch of their lips, but now Draco was ignoring that the best sexual experience of Harry's entire life had ever happened, treating Harry with cool indifference.  
  
He had heard somewhere that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. He shuddered at the thought. He may not have wanted Draco to love him but he thought he deserved more than a feeling of indifference. He had preferred it when Draco had hated him; after all, there's a thin line between love and hate. But now it just felt like Draco didn't care either way.  
  
He was interrupted from his musing by a scared looking first year fumbling at full speed into the classroom. He almost knocked over a cauldron full of bubbling potion but managed to avoid it before he skidded to a halt in front of Snape's desk.  
  
"Professor Summer... collapsed... screaming... help" was all the puffing boy managed before Snape hauled him out of the room on his was to the DADA classroom.  
  
Draco and Harry merely looked at one another before following closely behind.  
  
Snape was the first teacher on the scene. He quickly moved towards the still convulsing Buffy. He pressed a hand to her forehead, but felt no excess warmth, not poison then he thought, unless it was a highly advanced one, which was quite unlikely.  
  
"Some one tell me exactly what happened," he commanded. The class remained silent.  
  
"NOW!"  
  
"Sorry, sir," Toby finally spoke up, "WE don't know what happened. She was telling us about vampires and how they are turned, and then she just went silent for a little while, " he shuddered, "And then she started screaming, and she just fell to the floor. She's been thrashing about ever since, thought it's less now than it was," he explained, relief clear in his voice.  
  
"Has someone gone to get Madame Pomphrey?"  
  
Toby nodded.  
  
"And the Headmaster?"  
  
Toby nodded again.  
  
"Good. Now I think it's time for everyone to leave. A seven inch scroll on how vampires are turned is due next lesson, now off you go."  
  
"But Professor," a small Gryffindor girls spoke, "What about Professor Summers? Will she be all right?"  
  
"Of course she will be you silly girl. If someone had wanted her dead I think they would have done it by now, don't you?"  
  
The girl whimpered at the thought of her Professor dead.  
  
"I'm sure you'll see her at dinner. She never was one to pass up a chance to annoy me," the last sentence was muttered under his breath but from the giggles around the classroom, he was fairly sure some had heard him.  
  
Dumbledore, McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey arrived shortly after the students had left.  
  
Dumbledore looked at the damage around the room. Buffy laying on the floor, finally still, Snape leaning over her trying to discern what was wrong, Draco sitting in a dark corner with Harry at his side, withdrawn from the prospect of his second favourite professor being hurt or killed.  
  
"Or dead," was all he could say.  
  
He headed towards his new professor, just as she began to open her eyes. Dumbledore visibly sagged in relief.  
  
"Buffy, my dear, are you quite all right? The students said you passed out."  
  
All Buffy could do was shake her head.  
  
"No, no, I'm not all right. Not by a long shot," he voice sounded odd, as if she was trying to make it deeper, but somehow her voice would not cooperate.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Buffy's eyes met Dumbledore's and Dumbledore saw a familiar look, eyes that had seen too many years, an old soul. Buffy had always had that look, but it was so much deeper now, deeper than even his own eyes after his one hundred and forty-seven years. He was confused, how was that possible?  
  
He was woken from his thoughts by the sound of her voice.  
  
"Well for one I'm not Buffy. And two, what the hell is Buffy doing at Hogwarts?"  
  
To be continued...  
  
Please Feedback 


	10. Chapter 10 If Only She Could Remember Wh...

Assigned Seats  
  
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)  
  
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enimy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..  
  
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.  
  
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.  
  
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5  
  
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS  
  
Warning Slash  
  
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...  
  
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.  
  
Chapter 10. If Only She Could Remember What She Was Supposed To Remember...  
  
Buffy woke with a cool body next to her. She smiled; she was having that dream again. Soon Angel would pull her into his arms and... well... ravish her. She couldn't wait. Then she felt that tingling at the back of her mind, her Spider Senses. She knew immediately that something was wrong. She sighed, that meant she had to wake up and leave her fun dream.  
  
It didn't take her long to figure out that she was awake, and yet the cool body was still next to her. There was something nagging at the back of her mind, something she had to remember. If only she could remember what. Then it hit her. How was she in bed? The last thing she remembered was teaching her class of first years about vampires, and then a ripping pain. And then nothing. And the cool body was still lying still beside her.  
  
Buffy was scared. She didn't want to open her eyes to see what was next to her. She was comforted by the fact that she was not bound. That was good, right? She carefully opened one eye and found Angel dozing silently, like the dead. Well technically he was dead. She almost giggled but stopped herself, not wanting to wake him.  
  
This has to be a dream, Buffy realised. Ah well if he's not going to ravish me then I guess I'll just have to ravish him, she thought with a smirk.  
  
She straddled his waist, not yet touching his gorgeous half-naked body. Angel always slept naked in her dreams, but she could work around his pants in this one. She felt herself get hard.  
  
'Wait a minute,' she thought 'that's not right! Hard?!? What the hell,' she looked down to see and erection restrained by tight black jeans. She did what anyone would do it her situation, she screamed.  
  
It didn't take long for Angel to wake beneath her, and he began to scream too. But not for the same reason.  
  
Spike woke on a nice comfortable bed to the piercing sound of a man screaming. Not an entirely unusual thing for him to wake up to a couple of years ago, but it was not entirely expected now. And that voice sounded somewhat familiar.  
  
He opened his bleary eyes to see a figure above him, obviously straddling him, but he could feel no weight. Soon the picture came into focus and he saw himself. Spike's eyes widened at his screaming form and he began to scream himself, but his voice sounded wrong.  
  
The other him jumped clear off the bed, and him, to back away to the corner of the room, panic filled his eyes. Spike was faintly concerned when he saw the bulge in the other him's pants. Both had stopped screaming, which was always good.  
  
"Look Luv, why don't we calm down." He motioned gently towards himself. 'Man,' he thought, 'Twilight zone much.'  
  
"Angel," he whimpered lightly, his voice terrified.  
  
"No Pet, I'm Spike. Spike is me," he said calmly.  
  
"No," his self persisted, "You're Angel!"  
  
"Then who are you Luv?"  
  
"Buffy," he muttered looking at her feet.  
  
Spike choked.  
  
"Buffy?" he shook his head, "No that's not possible. Buffy's in England or Europe not in my body!"  
  
His own eyes widened at the revelation.  
  
"Your body?" he(Buffy) gasped. "You're really Spike?" he(Buffy) asked tentatively.  
  
"Of course, what does it look like?" he asked.  
  
Spike found it incredibly odd to have his own eyebrow raised to him.  
  
"Angel," was all he(Buffy) said.  
  
It took a moment for Spike to figure it out. He looked down and saw a more bulky body than he was used to.  
  
"BOLLUCKS!" was all he could say.  
  
It was then that Fred, Gunn, Weasly, Harmony and Eve crashed through Angel's door.  
  
"Is everyone ok?" asked a tentative Fred, "We heard screaming."  
  
"No I can safely say that everyone is not ok Fred!" Angel said viciously, not really angry with her but the situation they were in.  
  
"Hey Angel, chill ok? Don't take whatever it is out on Fred," Gunn spoke up for his ex.  
  
Spike looked at Angels' bare feet. How had he never noticed how hot Angel feet were? Ooh. Spike shook his head to rid himself of those thoughts. Now was not the time.  
  
"Sorry Fred," he said, seemingly ashamed of what he had done.  
  
"What's going on?" Eve asked, "Were you two fighting again?"  
  
Spike smirked, an expression, which looked very, very sexy on Angel, not to mention evil. If Buffy had been in her own body she would have been dripping by now, as it was she only got harder. Though it was not possibly the ghost of a vampire blushed.  
  
Spike couldn't help but laugh, another thing that looked really good on Angel.  
  
"Well, Spike here decided that he luvs me, and that we should sleep together. Only he didn't ask me, so I panicked when I woke up with my dick down his throat."  
  
If possible, Spike's body blushed even harder, looking down at Spikes bare feet, another really sexy pair. 'What was it about vampires and sexy feet,' she wondered.  
  
Fred was beat red, Weasly was looking shocked, and Gunn and Eve looked a cross between amusement and disgust. Harmony was jealous.  
  
"How could you?" she screeched, stomping towards what she thought was Spike, "First you choose that bitch of a Slayer over me and now him?" she pointed to Angel's body. "You are no longer my Blondie bear, and I hope he dumps you! And you come crawling back to me, and then I'll turn you away, and you'll never see this ever again."  
  
She lifted her top and flashed an unsuspecting Buffy her boobs.  
  
Buffy couldn't help it then; she started laughing for all she was worth.  
  
Around her giggles she managed to splutter out, "Oh god Harmony, this is almost as funny as that time you had minions."  
  
Harmony looked ready to kill, and was about to pounce 'Spike.'  
  
"Harm, calm down, it was just a joke," came the soothing voice from Angel.  
  
She looked at him in wonder.  
  
"I-I didn't know you cared," she mumbled.  
  
"Of course I care Harm."  
  
"Wait a minute. The only person who ever called me Harm was Spike." She looked between Angel and Spike, "What the hell is going on?"  
  
"Well Harmony," Spike(Buffy) answered her, "Something happened over night and we somehow managed to switch bodies. Spike is in Angel over there. I'm in Spike, and I imaginingg Angel's in me. Ok, that sounded really wrong. Wait, Angel's in me," his eyes widened, "In Scotland. In front of a class of eleven year olds," he gasped, "They're going to eat him alive. Spike we have to go. Now, and I mean NOW!"  
  
"That's good and all," Gunn interrupted, "But who are you?"  
  
"Oh right sorry, forgot to introduce myself. I'm Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. Wes you already know me, though you've certainly changed a lot. I like the new look, it works, really, really well," he(Buffy) said with a seductive tone in his voice.  
  
Weasly began to blush, feeling as if he were being hit on by Spike.  
  
"Well, I've freaked out the watcher man so my duty here is done. I think now would be a good time for me to get to my body, what do you say Spike," Spike(Buffy) said cheerfully, reminding all occupants of the frightful Halloween party and optimistic Spike.  
  
"I think that's a good idea Buffy. It's a pity I'm a ghost though. I have this sudden urge to shag myself." Spike smirked.  
  
"Wait till you get back in you own body, and hey, I'll even provide a lubricant."  
  
The Wolfram and Hart team looked horrified.  
  
To be continued...  
  
Please Feedback! 


	11. Chapter 11 Hogwarts Alumni

Assigned Seats  
  
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)  
  
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enimy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..  
  
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.  
  
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.  
  
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5  
  
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS  
  
*Warning* Slash  
  
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...  
  
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.  
  
***  
  
Chapter 11. Hogwarts Alumni  
  
Snape spluttered.  
  
"What do you mean you're not Buffy?" he asked incredulously.  
  
Buffy(Angel) growled, or attempted to anyway, but was largely unsuccessful; due to the fact the he was no longer a vampire.  
  
"Well I mean that I'm not Buffy... Well I suppose I am in her body, but her soul, her conscious mind is elsewhere. My guess is my body or... wait a minute." Buffy(Angel) though for a moment.  
  
"Godamnit!" she(he) roared, "I knew I shouldn't have trusted those damn wizards! This is all Spike's fault! I should have killed him when I had the chance, no I should never have let Dru sire him, and then I would never have had to deal with any of his messes! Stupid Childe! He just had to be corporeal, and I just had to give in to those stupid pleading eye!"  
  
The other occupants of the room looked extremely confused, and remained silent while Buffy(Angel) raged.  
  
"Well, if you don't mind me asking," Dumbledore interrupted his rant, "who are you? And how do you know about Hogwarts? Are you a former student? "  
  
***  
  
"Hey wait!?!" Angel(Spike) said, "Did you say that you were in Scotland in front of a class of kids?!?"  
  
"Umm... maybe. Would it be a problem?" Spike(Buffy) mumbled, looking down at his, still hot, bare feet, and still a very un-Spike-like action.  
  
"So what? You're teaching? Where? And I thought you were a counsellor."  
  
"Which one do you want me to answer first?" Spike(Buffy) answered, her confidence coming back to her, the shock of their unusual situation finally fading.  
  
"Let's put it this way. What school would hire you?!? In Scotland!?!"  
  
"Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."  
  
Angel(Spike) looked shocked, close to fainting.  
  
"You're teaching at Hogwarts? How do you even know it exists? Only people in the Wizarding world are supposed to know." Angel(Spike) spluttered.  
  
"I could ask you the same question," Spike(Buffy) said with a raised eyebrow.  
  
"Graduated class of... well that's not important. What's important is that I went. And since when are you a witch? Only witches teach at Hogwarts."  
  
"They made a special exception for me. Seems they've been having trouble keeping a Defence Against the Dark Arts professor. They're either evil or well it's mainly that evil thing, so they made an exception. Who better to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts than the longest surviving slayer ever, with eleven years of experience." Spike(Buffy) explained.  
  
"Well then... I guess that's ok... I still can't believe some one put you in charge of the welfare and mental health of young children."  
  
"Well that was completely pointless..." Fred said eyebrows raised, "didn't you say that you should be going? Because Wolfram and Hart does have a private jet you know?"  
  
"Private jet?" Spike (Buffy) spluttered, "I should have come back sooner!"  
  
***  
  
Buffy(Angel) seemed to calm slightly at the question.  
  
"Yes I was a student here, a very long time ago. My name then was Liam O'Connor."  
  
Dumbledore looked puzzled.  
  
"Liam O'Connor? I don't remember any Liams' in the school in at least 200 years."  
  
"Well that would make sense considering I came here 253 years ago."  
  
Snape looked aghast.  
  
Harry and Draco were both confused to the point of a mental break down.  
  
"How is that possible?" Harry asked, for them both, "Are you a ghost, or is that were... I'm confused!"  
  
"No, not a ghost, Vampire," Buffy(Angel) replied darkly.  
  
Dumbledore's eyes widened in realisation.  
  
"Angelus?" his voice barely a whisper.  
  
His shock was quickly forgotten as he pulled out his wand and shot a stunning spell at Buffy(Angel). Buffy(Angel) flipped to the side, out of the way of the curse that was surely powerful enough to knock him out.  
  
"Wait!" She(he) begged, pleadingly, "You have to let me explain!"  
  
"What could you possible explain?" Dumbledore replied coldly, firing another curse in her(his) direction, "You're a vicious monster, 'The Scourge of Europe', we thought you dead, but I guess we were wrong. I'll have to remedy that, but first I must get my slayer back in her own body."  
  
He shot another two stunning spells in quick succession. Buffy(Angel) managed to dodge the first two curses, but the third hit her(him) in the back as he dodged away from the second. She(he) fell to the floor motionless, the second time in ten minutes.  
  
Harry watched Draco carefully. He was panicking. He looked as if he were about to bolt. Harry wondered if he really likes Professor Summers, enough to worry so much over her health, or if he was reacting to an old memory of a similar experience. With Lucius Malfoy as a father he would not be surprised in the least, if the latter were true.  
  
Harry wound a bony arm around Draco's shoulders pulling him into a rough half hug. Draco calmed slightly, but remained tense. Harry sighed, feeling helpless. He knew he could do nothing more to help him. Draco needed to work this out on his own.  
  
Dubledore gently picked up Buffy(Angel) and handed her(him) to Snape.  
  
"Chain him up in the Dungeons. Make sure the chains are enchanted against slayer strength. If Angelus is released in a slayers body, especially this slayer, there is no telling the damage he could do."  
  
"He said something about Wizards," Snape said quietly, "Do you think that Voldermort may have been involved?"  
  
"It's possible, but what we really should worry about is where Buffy is, and how she's coping in the body of one of her sworn enemies. It must be rather strenuous to become what you were born to destroy."  
  
Snape nodded in agreement.  
  
"All we can really do is wait, hope she'll get in touch with us. Perhaps a tracking spell, but we don't have anything belonging to the Vampire and I'm not sure we could track a soul. We just have to hope that she is not in Voldemort's hands."  
  
"She knows nothing of value though," Snape said, shifting the weight of the body I his arms, "Why would Voldermort want her?"  
  
"She may know nothing, but the school is depending on her for the protection of the children. Without her help we may not be able to protect Harry, or the other students."  
  
***  
  
Authors Note: Important stuff people. I am finding it really annoying to write the name of the body and then the character who's actually in that body in brackets! Gaah it's annoying. So in future chappies, when their bodies are still switched, the names will be just the character who's in the particular body! Does that make sense?  
  
Authors Note Two: I know that Dumbledore and Snape know all about Buffy's slayer career, but not about Angel and Buffy, or even Spike and Buffy. Lets just say that those particular things were left out of her "biography" and that only Buffy closest friends know about them. They were kept secret for privacy's sake.  
  
~~~  
  
To be continued...  
  
Please Feedback! 


	12. Chapter 12 Research, revelations and

Assigned Seats  
  
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)  
  
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enimy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..  
  
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.  
  
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.  
  
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5  
  
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS  
  
*Warning* Slash  
  
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...  
  
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.  
  
***  
  
Chapter 12 Research, revelations and ...  
  
Buffy sighed in frustration. She was in a nice private jet and she couldn't even look out the window because she was a stupid vampire now. Even Spike's ghostly body burned in the Sun. You'd think that already being dead would make his body immune to the sun but noooooooooooooo.  
  
"Are we there yet?" she asked exasperated.  
  
"Now you really sound like me. And now that I know how annoying it is... I'm going to do it as often as possible," Spike said, his mouth twisting into an evil smirk.  
  
"Hey," Buffy said, slightly outraged, "I though you were supposed to have a soul now!"  
  
"Well OK. Only to Angel then."  
  
Buffy shrugged, the movement still awkward in a body that was not her own.  
  
"Works for me."  
  
Suddenly a crackly voice sounded from the speakers.  
  
"Mr Angel, Sir," the voice said tentatively.  
  
The AI team had decided to keep the body switches to themselves so the rest of W&H believed him Angel. Spike was quickly realising how fun it was being Angel. He loved being in charge.  
  
"We'll be landing in 5 minutes," the voice began again, "You need to take your seats and put on your seatbelts."  
  
Buffy sat in her designated seat next to Spike and grasped for the seat belt. Her hand went straight through it.  
  
"Hey!?!"  
  
***  
  
Angel woke, his head throbbing. He dreaded opening his eyes. The last time he did that he was in Buffy's body in Scotland... Maybe that was just a dream, or a nightmare more like it, he thought to himself.  
  
Being his manly self, he toughened up and opened his eyes to a bleak dungeon. His wrists were shackled above him, rendering him immobile.  
  
"Damnit."  
  
Obviously it was not a dream. And that meant that what happened before really happened. That meant he was... in Buffy's body.  
  
"This is not happening," he said shaking his head.  
  
***  
  
"Well this is... quaint," Spike said, looking around the small wizarding village of Hogsmeade.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes, attempting to grab Spike's hand, failing because of her translucency.  
  
"Come on! We need to find me... or Angel... or whatever, we just need to go."  
  
"Impatient aren't we Fluffy?"  
  
Buffy raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Wow! You're really getting a hang of all my facial expressions aren't you?"  
  
Buffy glared.  
  
"Well? Are we going or not?" Spike whined.  
  
"Fine," Buffy huffed, leading Spike through the forbidden forest, on a path only she knew from her long knights of patrol. They broke from the forest onto a large patch of grass, lit by moonlight. The castle towered over them, its lights shining brightly, calling to them.  
  
"Home sweet home," Spike said softly.  
  
"Sentimental, aren't we?" Buffy asked smugly, eyebrows raised yet again.  
  
Spike glared at her.  
  
"Well let's get this over with then! I want to be back in my own body... Well actually..."  
  
"Don't even think about it," Buffy scolded, "we are going back in our own bodies and that's that!"  
  
Spike looked miffed.  
  
"Fine," he said sulkily, and began the long trudge up to the castle. Buffy followed close behind.  
  
***  
  
Harry moaned into Draco's mouth. His back was pressed roughly against the wall, Draco's body covering his. The kiss was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. The kiss after his nightmare had been nice but it was filled with compassion and comfort. But this kiss... This kiss was filled with hunger, passion, desire. He felt himself melting.  
  
Draco continued to molest his mouth, stealing Harry of breath and thought. He stepped back suddenly breaking their connection. Harry moaned at the loss, his eyes pleading for Draco to come back, still lost in a daze of lust.  
  
Draco began tugging Harry down the hall with little regard for his comfort.  
  
"W-What?" Harry spluttered, trying to keep up with the fast moving Slytherin.  
  
"This changes nothing Potter. Now hurry up, I want to get to the library quick so we can find more out about Buffy, and Angelus of course."  
  
"What do you mean it changes nothing?" Harry groaned still emerging from that place of desire, "It changes everything!"  
  
"What do you think sex is Potter? It's what? Bells ringing, fireworks, a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies? It's nothing. It just contact and pleasure, emotionally it means nothing. If I do so chose to sleep with you, I will still hate you in the morning. Abandon your schoolgirl fantasies. Love isn't real," Draco ranted.  
  
"How would you know?" Harry hissed, jerking to a stop, forcing Draco to stumble, "My mother's love is the only reason I'm alive. That proves it's real."  
  
"No, it proves that Voldomort is a weak bastard for being vanquished by some fake emotion."  
  
Harry glared.  
  
"Why am I even having this conversation with you?" he asked rhetorically, "I don't like you, and there is no way in Hell I would sleep with you, so the point of this conversation is null and void."  
  
Both boys stared intensely at each other. A silent challenge.  
  
Harry was the first to look away.  
  
Draco tugged on the chain that bound them, and in an almost sympathetic voice said, "Come on, we should get to the library, I'm not skipping dinner for nothing you know!"  
  
***  
  
Spike bound into the Entrance Hall, a slightly more controlled Buffy followed him. Spike's eyes flittered around the room, excitedly, wising to explore the school that he had left over 200 years ago.  
  
A first year wearily walked down the stairs, late for dinner. He eyes the two strange men standing in the Entrance Hall.  
  
"Umm...," He asked timidly, "Can I help you?"  
  
"Hello Anthony, could you get the headmaster for us please?" the bleached blond asked kindly.  
  
The boy looked frightened.  
  
"H-how do y-you know m-my n-name?" he stuttered nervously, backing away from the pair.  
  
"Oh right," he said, "I forgot. Umm... I'm a friend of Professor Summers. She's told me all about all her students."  
  
"R-really? Do you know if she'd ok? I heard she collapsed in one of her classes," enquired the nervous Hufflepuff.  
  
"Well, that's what we're here to find out," the taller man spoke.  
  
The boy startled at the unfamiliar voice, obviously having forgotten about the second man.  
  
"Y-y-you wanted Dumbledore?" he asked nervously, "I'll just go get him."  
  
He dashed quickly into the great hall to the surprise of the dining students and teachers. Looking around he was suddenly more nervous than before, almost wishing to be back in the entrance hall with the two strangers.  
  
He could only stare at the Headmaster, frozen.  
  
Dumbledore seemed to sense his problem and gently prodded the boy.  
  
"Anthony, is there something you need to tell me?"  
  
This seemed to wake him from his stupor.  
  
"Ummm... Yes," he began, "there are two people in the hall, they said they were friends of Professor Summers. They wanted to get you," he rushed through, before quickly finding a seat at his table.  
  
Dumbledore smiled kindly.  
  
"Thankyou Anthony."  
  
The boy trying to hide between two of his housemates as he blushed a profuse red.  
  
Dumbledore graciously exited the hall, putting Minerva in charge. Severus followed him out.  
  
***  
  
Spike was casually leaning against the banister of the stairs, while Buffy paced nervously in the centre of the room, when Dumbledore and Snape entered.  
  
Dumbledore glanced at Buffy before his gaze moved to Spike. Recognising him as the body of Angelus he moved towards Spike, pulling his into a hug.  
  
"Buffy! I'm so glad you're ok!"  
  
Spike couldn't get away from him fast enough; he quickly scampered behind Buffy for protection. Buffy just laughed.  
  
"Buffy, I don't understand. What's wrong?" Dumbledore asked gently, "have you been hurt in any way? Tortured?"  
  
The real Buffy laughed harder.  
  
"And who is this?" Dumbledoor enquired, looking at the laughing man suspiciously.  
  
"What, Fluffy?" Spike asked, "Are you involved with this old guy or something? Tut, tut. I thought you had better standards," he scolded.  
  
"Well I slept with you didn't I?" she asked crudely, "And no, we are not involved, shudder by the way, I think the hug was more fatherly concern. Not that you'd know anything about that, considering who your father was..."  
  
"Ouch Sayer, low blow," they bantered affectionately as Dumbledore and Snape watched in shock and confusion.  
  
"What the hell?" Snape finally spoke.  
  
"Ah. Well, three way switch not just two. Where is Angel by the way?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Angel? You mean the monster that has taken your body?"  
  
"Angel? A monster?" Buffy laughed, "Yeah right, he's more like a puppy dog if you ask me."  
  
Spike snorted.  
  
"You know him?" Dumbledore asked, shocked.  
  
"Know him?" Spike asked, "She fucked him into oblivion... literally! Plus they dated for like three years. Of course she knows him."  
  
Snape looked suspiciously at Spike.  
  
"May I inquire, exactly who are you?" he asked.  
  
"Name's Spike, but I used to go by 'William the Bloody'," he said with pride, puffing out his chest.  
  
"Another vampire," Dumbledoor said, still in shock over the revelation of Buffy and Angel's relationship. "It seems that you have been keeping things from me Buffy," he said almost sadly.  
  
"You never asked. Besides my private life is my own, and I can be in a relationship with whomever, or whatever I wish. You would not be so shocked if it were a werewolf I was involved with."  
  
"But that is an entirely different situation, werewolves are people most of the time, but vampires are just vile evil creatures, and you would not believe how ashamed of you I am after this revelation. How could you lower yourself to sleeping with your sworn enemy? They're pure evil" Dumbledore ranted.  
  
"But they're not. Both have been fighting for the side of good for quite some time. Both have souls. And both have saved the world almost as many times as I have. They deserve you respect!"  
  
Buffy was pissed.  
  
"Now where the hell is Angel?" she asked fiercely.  
  
"Chained in the dungeons," Snape answered her question coldly.  
  
Buffy's mouth opened in surprise. She started forward but Spike was quicker.  
  
"You bloody bastards! What the hell have you done to my sire?"  
  
He held Dumbledore but the throat, back against the hard stone walls.  
  
Snape quickly realised the very deadly predicament the Headmaster was in.  
  
"We merely stunned him," he answered quickly, afraid for Dumbledore, "No harm has come to him. I'll take you to him, just let Dumbledore go. Please"  
  
Spike released the now breathless man, but continued to glare. These men instantly considered the enemy for harming his sire, for daring to keep him in chains.  
  
Snape turned with a flourish of his robes, leading the pair to the room where Angelus was being kept.  
  
***  
  
"Oh my God," Draco said in horror, "You will never believe what he did to this puppy!"  
  
Harry looked slightly green.  
  
"I don't want to know, especially after hearing about that poor slayer," He paused thinking about it, "Oh, God I think I'm going to be sick! And Buffy's life isn't much better! She died when she was sixteen! He life is even worse than mine!"  
  
"But what's the connection between the two?" Draco asked, "There must be something..."  
  
"Well. This book about Buffy says something about a mysterious person helping her, giving her information and such. Do you think it could mean something?"  
  
"I don't know. I think the only way we're going to find out is to ask him."  
  
Harry raised a disbelieving eyebrow.  
  
"Are you sure that's... wise?"  
  
"What else have we got? Other than a long list of brutally tortured victims..."  
  
"I suppose... Didn't Dumbledoor say to chain him in the dungeons?"  
  
Draco smirked.  
  
"Yeah, he did. Let's go vampire hunting."  
  
Small A/N – This last section happens the night after Angel being chained in the dungeon!  
  
~~~ To be continued... Please Feedback 


	13. Chapter 13 The Bet

Assigned Seats  
  
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)  
  
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enimy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..  
  
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.  
  
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.  
  
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5  
  
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS  
  
Warning Slash  
  
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...  
  
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.  
  
AN - Ok, my theory... sorta. Angel has both a demon and soul right? And it has been shown that the soul is very strong and has fought against the demon and demonic urges for about 100 years, Spike on the other hand... Spike has only had his soul for about 3 years now, and his soul and demon appear to be quite similar, causing the shall we say 'merge' between demon and soul to go smoothly. Buffy also has a primal force inside her that she has to control, her "slayer" which as we all found in season 7 was originally a demon, or a demon's essence. The spell that Voldomort used to 'reward' Angel and Spike switched their souls not their demons, so Angelus remains in his body, the slayer in Buffy's and William the Bloody in Spike's. Buffy and Angel both have the experience and power to control/dominate their weaker demons, Buffy because it is natural for her since she has been doing it since birth, and Angel because he had to control Angelus who we all know is a strong forceful bastard. Spike on the other hand has had less time to adapt to controlling his demon, and the demon is less powerful. So therefore we/I assume that Angelus has the power to dominate Spike in his body... Let the games begin.  
  
Btw, this whole theory was pretty much just an excuse to let Angelus out to play, because... well... who doesn't love Angelus?! He's so funny and adorable! Who can say no to him?  
  
Another small A/N - this chapter and the previous one happened the night after Angelus was chained in the Dungeon's. I.e., he was chained, people slept, and the next day Buffy and Spike arrived. Otherwise it doesn't coincide with Buffy and Spike's 16hour flight. On with the.. peep show .  
  
Chapter 13. The Bet  
  
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Harry asked, his confidence long gone.  
  
"Stop being such a baby. You've faced the Dark Lord! How bad could a vampire be?"  
  
"But he's not just a vampire, he's 'The Scourge of Europe'! He's ten times worse than Voldomort, not surprising seeing as he's had double the time to stock up a body count. But, what he does to his victims..." Harry trailed off with a shudder.  
  
"God, you're such a wuss," Draco snickered.  
  
Harry glared.  
  
"Fine, let's get this over with." Harry said in annoyance.  
  
Draco smirked, knowing he had gotten his way, as he usually did.  
  
"Alohomora," Draco pointed his wand at the lock on the heavy wooden door, the room behind it was the only possible place, Draco knew, that anyone could possible be kept in chains.  
  
Harry stood back cautiously, expecting something to fly out of the room at him. The dungeons always gave him the heebie-jeebies, but when Draco pushed open the heavy door he was surprised at what he saw.  
  
The small figure was chained to the wall, arms above her head, or was it his head? She seemed to be jiggling, jumping, possibly trying to get out of the chains. That or...  
  
"Oh my God!" Harry exclaimed, outraged and slightly confused.  
  
Draco sniggered.  
  
"Are you trying to look down her top!?" he asked in amusement and slight disbelief.  
  
Angel was startled from his reprive by Harry's exclamation. He looked guiltily at the boys standing in the doorway.  
  
"Umm... No?"  
  
"The is the ultimate evil vampire? The Scourge of Europe? He who slaughters puppies?" Draco said in surprise.  
  
"Hey," Angel said, "That was a long time ago, well unless you count that small lapse a couple of years ago. But I have a soul now, I'm good. Helping the helpless, fighting for the righteous and all that."  
  
"A soul?" Harry said, "I thought vampires, when they were turned their souls went... away, and were replaced by a demon? How is it possible that you have a soul?"  
  
"Long story. I had a... misunderstanding with some Romanian Gypsies about 100 years ago, cursed me with a soul. Hey, either of you want to let me out of these chains? I promise not to hurt you," Angel said sincerely.  
  
Harry looked at Draco in disbelief, before looking back at Angel.  
  
"You've got to be kidding me! Do you actually expect us to believe that?" Harry sniggered in disbelief.  
  
"I swear I'm telling you the truth. I haven't been evil in a long time, and I don't know what you've heard about me but it all happened a long time ago and I'm very sorry for it, but I had no control over my demon then. It wasn't my fault."  
  
"Finally! He gets it! For three years I tried to imprint it into his brain but he never got it, now after being chained in a dungeon for five minutes he gets it! I give up!" Buffy almost screamed in frustration in the door way.  
  
Spike snickered.  
  
"You know pet, you look really good in chains," he said to Buffy pushing his way through Harry and Draco, and moving towards his grand-sire.  
  
"Spike stop being an idiot and let out of these goddamn chains!" Angel said, quickly realising that Spike was currently inhabiting his body and Buffy was in Spike's. This proved his original theory that Voldomort was to blame for this.  
  
"You know Peaches I kinda like having the advantage over you, I think I'll leave you there for a while."  
  
"Childe if you don't let me down right now..." Angel threatened.  
  
Spike continued to smirk.  
  
"Buffy," Angel whined, "make him let me down!"  
  
"Sorry love, but I'm currently non-corporeal and I can't really do anything. Besides, you in chains is totally hot... well it would be if you were in your own body anyway. Really brings back memories, and puts you in a really good position for me to torture you for a few little things," Buffy said dangerously, "Maybe Spikey would be willing to help?"  
  
"Count me in Pet. I'm always up for a round of torture the grand-sire."  
  
Angel gulped.  
  
"Buffy, whatever I did, I'm really, really sorry. I didn't mean it, and you know I'll make it up to you!"  
  
"Damn, 50 bucks right?" Spike asked Buffy, "Godamnit, Peaches. I thought you were going to last more than five minutes before falling into a blubbering, apologising heap!"  
  
"Yup," Buffy said with a smirk, "Sorry Honey, but you're too easy."  
  
"You two BET on me?" He asked in anger.  
  
"Well yeah Peaches, we had a 16 hour flight, what else were we going to do? I mean I suggested shagging but with Buffy all non-corporeal..." Spike trailed off when he heard his grand-sire's growl.  
  
"You will both be punished," Angel managed between growls.  
  
"Sweetie, that's gunna be kinda hard with you all chained and what not," Buffy tried to calm him.  
  
"Then unchain me!"  
  
The threat was obvious in his voice.  
  
Harry, Draco and Snape, who were all currently still in the room with Buffy, Angel and Spike, watched the scene in utter disbelief.  
  
Snape coughed, reminding the vampires and slayer that there were three other people in the room. Buffy took one look at Snape expression and saw disproval there.  
  
She raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Come on Sevy, don't be such a tight-ass!"  
  
Harry couldn't help it and a small chuckle escaped his lips.  
  
Snape gave Harry a warning glare.  
  
Draco took that as his cue to butt in.  
  
"What the bloody hell is going on? And who are these people?"  
  
"I surprised you don't recognise my remarkable wit, especially since I'm responsible for that bracelet," Buffy said with a smirk, which looked a whole lot more evil in Spike's body.  
  
Angel and Spike both snickered.  
  
"You chained 'em together Luv? Nice!"  
  
"What the hell are you doing teaching at Hogwarts anyway? I thought you were in Rome," Angel added.  
  
"Umm, well," Buffy looked nervous, or as nervous as she could with Spike's features, "You see, I was totally ready to go home, but then I got... distracted with my brilliant teaching career."  
  
"Distracted?" Spike snorted, "Yeah right. You chickened out!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"Did too!"  
  
"Did not! Angel make him stop!"  
  
"Both of you! STOP!"  
  
Both guilty parties looked down to the floor. The other three occupants of the room were surprised to see the two taking orders from the one chained to a wall.  
  
"Chicken," Spike muttered under his breath at Buffy.  
  
Buffy glared at him.  
  
"Chickened out's not really the word I would use. I mean I've faced countless demons, saved the world like a million times, I don't chicken out!"  
  
"You totally chickened out!"  
  
Buffy's only reply was to stick her tongue out at him.  
  
"Mature," he snorted in reply.  
  
"Anyway, back to business! Sevy, can you get him out of these chains? If we don't do it soon he's going to go postal on us!"  
  
Snape reluctantly produced the key to the shackles that bound Angel.  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes at his reluctance.  
  
"Spike, would you please?" she gestured towards the key.  
  
"Sure thing Pet, always willing to help the helpless," he said smugly.  
  
"Childe, do as you're told!" Angel growled his contribution.  
  
"Fine, fine," Spike muttered, "Nobody lets me have fun any more!"  
  
"Just unlock the fucking chains!" Angel roared.  
  
Deciding that it was time to stop playing with Angel, Spike unlocked the shackles, catching Angel before he slumped to the ground.  
  
Angel groaned in Spike's arms, well actually his own arms, but...  
  
"I'd forgotten what having a circulation feels like," he moaned.  
  
"Poor baby," Buffy said, sarcastically.  
  
He stuck his tongue out at her.  
  
"Oh, Baby, you're turning me on!" she scoffed, "And you say I'm immature!"  
  
"Perhaps we should move to the Headmasters office to have this conversation, and perhaps work on a way to switch you back," Snape interrupted their squabbling, "And what exactly are you two doing down in the dungeons."  
  
Harry cringed at the accusing tone in his voice.  
  
"We got lost," Draco answered simply.  
  
Buffy snorted.  
  
"Yeah," she said, "We're going to believe that! Off to bed you two! NOW!"  
  
Draco grumbled but led Harry away from the immensely interesting scene towards their private chambers.  
  
Snape trooped the remaining three towards Dumbledore's office, muttering angrily under his breath the entire way there.  
  
End of chapter 13  
  
Hey everyone,  
  
I'm so so so so sorry that I haven't updated in ages. I just recently finished my exams. I've actually had this chapter written for aged but my beta who has also had exams hasn't had time to beta till now. So I'm really sorry for the long wait. And, I'll apologise now because Assigned Seats wont be updated for about a month because I'm going on Vacation (to Europe [Yay me!]) and wont have access to the necessary means to write let alone update, so I apologise in advance. But have no fear, I do plan on finishing it, even if it takes me a while.  
  
Also I wanted to say a HUGE thank you to every one who reviewed. You have no idea how much it meant to me! I was planning on giving up on AS and moving on to some different fics or abandoning the fic world entirely, so a huge huge thank you to you!  
  
I also wanted to apologise for the crappines that was chapters 7 through 10. My chapters were very nicely formatted with numerous spaces between lines. Then I uploaded it to ff.net. rolls eyes I'm sure we all know what it's like! Anyway, it is now hopefully fixed, for easier reading.  
  
Thanxs and hugs and kisses especially to carterxoxo for your continuing support, as well as Jack Sparrow's Only Love, KitFoxGurl, Ben is Glory, sapph89 and Mrs. RT. Thank you thank you thank you all for reviewing!  
  
Also, big thank to Jane, my ever present Beta. Even if she does take a while to Beta some things. 


	14. Chapter 14 Calling in a Professional

Assigned Seats  
  
Author: Siren of Hell (occasionally my friend Jane)  
  
Rating: This is R for bad, bad words. Please don't read if you're not old enough!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HP belongs to JKRowling and some publishing company, BtVS belongs to Joss Wheldon and some other really rich TV people, and Mutant Enimy and Fox and many, many more. Simpsons(which is mentioned in passing) belongs to Matt Grogien and I think that's it..  
  
Summary: Harry Potter/Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover. Hogwarts has a new DADA professor, she's not exactly conventional... and what's more! She's determined to make a couple of her students realise something about themselves.  
  
Timeline: Three years after s7 of Buffy, and 6th year for HP and gang.  
  
Spoilers: HP-up to Order of the Phoenix, Btvs – up to s7, Ats – up to first/second episode of s5  
  
Pairings: HP/DM, BS/A(us), and probably RW/HeG and WR/SS  
  
Warning Slash  
  
Dedication: To Janey, my inspiration and all that...  
  
Author's Note : For the purpose of this fic Angel and Spike do love each other (In a violent love hate kinda way). Not very much romantically but in a familyish way, but with some bits of romance. What can I say, they come from a fucked up family.  
  
AN - Ok, my theory... sorta. Angel has both a demon and soul right? And it has been shown that the soul is very strong and has fought against the demon and demonic urges for about 100 years, Spike on the other hand... Spike has only had his soul for about 3 years now, and his soul and demon appear to be quite similar, causing the shall we say 'merge' between demon and soul to go smoothly. Buffy also has a primal force inside her that she has to control, her "slayer" which as we all found in season 7 was originally a demon, or a demon's essence. The spell that Voldomort used to 'reward' Angel and Spike switched their souls not their demons, so Angelus remains in his body, the slayer in Buffy's and William the Bloody in Spike's. Buffy and Angel both have the experience and power to control/dominate their weaker demons, Buffy because it is natural for her since she has been doing it since birth, and Angel because he had to control Angelus who we all know is a strong forceful bastard. Spike on the other hand has had less time to adapt to controlling his demon, and the demon is less powerful. So therefore we/I assume that Angelus has the power to dominate Spike in his body... Let the games begin.  
  
Btw, this whole theory was pretty much just an excuse to let Angelus out to play, because... well... who doesn't love Angelus?! He's so funny and adorable! Who can say no to him?  
  
Chapter 14. Calling in a Professional  
  
As soon as they reached their bedroom Harry flopped down in a comfy chair and refused to move when Draco tugged on their chain.  
  
"We need to talk," Harry started with a sigh.  
  
"NO, we really don't. In fact I think we should not talk until at least tomorrow afternoon."  
  
"Draco," Harry said calmly, completely in control, "I'm not moving until you start talking, and if you keep this up we're going to be here a long time."  
  
"Fine," Draco said, defeated. "What do you want to talk about?"  
  
"Let's start with the other night. What happened between us?"  
  
Draco smirked. "Well I thought that was obvious," he said suggestively.  
  
"Draco," Harry said softly, "Please."  
  
Draco rubbed his eyes tiredly.  
  
"We kissed Harry. It was a mistake."  
  
"And earlier in the corridor?"  
  
"That was a mistake too!"  
  
"Malfoy," Harry said harshly, his voice so obviously full of frustration, "You say you don't believe in love, and yet you kissed me as if you do. You say that you feel nothing for me, but I got a different impression when you had me backed against a wall with your tongue down my throat! And don't you dare tell me that they were a mistake, because after 5 years of potions I know a mistake when I see one! And those kisses were not mistakes!"  
  
"What do you want me to say Harry? That I love you? That I care for you? Well sorry but I can't!"  
  
"Can't or won't?"  
  
Draco sighed, trying to find a way to explain to Harry.  
  
"After 16 years of living with my father, he taughts me one useful thing. Caring is weakness! Love is vulnerability! In my position, I can't be those thing, so no, I can't!"  
  
"That's an excuse and we both know it! You're just scared to let anyone know who you really are. You can't let anyone see whose behind your wall because you think you're weak. That's not true, you're just human."  
  
"Harry," Draco sighed, "Just let it go, please. This can never be anything! Once we get out of these chains we'll probably never have a civilised conversation again."  
  
"That's not true," Harry interrupted, "Now that I know that you're on our side..."  
  
Draco scoffed.  
  
"I can't be a very effective spy if you're my best friend, now can I? The Slytherins will never believe it, and Voldomort will want me to kill you! Not to mention you're friends! What do you think they'd say if we were best of friends? Not to mention lovers!"  
  
Harry was silent. He had no answer.  
  
"He's gotta be under Imperius!"  
  
"Mr Weasly, don't you think that's a bit extreme? I doubt very much that Mr Malfoy would do that," Professor McGonagall replied calmly to the distraught boy.  
  
"That may be true," Hermionie interrupted, trying to be reasonable, "But something is not right with Harry! He would never act like this! I mean he's getting along with Malfoy! I saw them researching together in the library, and they didn't fight once! You can't expect me to believe that that is normal behaviour for Harry!"  
  
"He's either cursed or insane," Ron thought aloud, "Do you think Dumbledore would let us take him to St. Mungo's? To get his head checked and all?"  
  
Minerva sighed tiredly. She didn't have time for this. Albus expected her in his office in five minutes, "I assure you two that Mr Potter is in perfect health, but if you don't believe me take it up with him!"  
  
Hermionie opened her mouth to ask where they could find Harry.  
  
McGonagall glared, cutting of Hermionie's question. "Tomorrow! Now out, I have a meeting to get to!"  
  
McGonagall was the last to arrive in Dumbledore's office, surprised to find Angelus, out of chains, and two people she had never seen before sitting comfortably together on a recently transfigured couch.  
  
"Ah, Minerva," Dumbledore said by way of greeting. "You had no trouble getting away I assume?"  
  
McGonagall blushed lightly.  
  
"Sorry I'm late Albus but Mr Weasly and Miss Granger both believe Harry to be either cursed or insane, and I had to calm them down."  
  
The Headmaster had a mischievous smile on his face, eye twinkling. "Well, I suppose that was expected," he said kindly, "But now we're all here I think we should get down to business, don't you Severus?"  
  
Severus, who had been hiding in the shadows mumbling angrily, sat in a chair as far away from Buffy, Angel and Spike as possible, a grimace on his face.  
  
"Is uh... something wrong?" Minerva inquired noticing Snape's expression and the two newcomers.  
  
"No, nothing's wrong," Dumbledore said cheerfully, clearly forgotten his earlier assault, "Just slightly more complicated than we originally thought."  
  
"How so?" Minerva asked, cautious of complications.  
  
"Well, it appears that Buffy was involved in a three way soul switch not a two way, undeniably more complex to perform, not to mention undo. And we have unjustly restrained Angel, who had apparently been on the side of 'good' for almost a hundred years."  
  
Spike snorted.  
  
"Ponce," he muttered under his breath.  
  
"Spike," Buffy said harshly, "I may not be able hit you right now, but there are far worse things I could punish you with if you don't at least try to get along with Angel."  
  
Spike grumbled but reluctantly agreed. Angel smiled smugly.  
  
"I hate to break up your little... thing, but perhaps we should move on to how to get you back in you own bodies."  
  
"Good idea," Spike spoke up cheerfully and clearly sarcastically, "How?"  
  
"Spike, is it? Perhaps we could keep the scathing remarks until after we fix this mess." Spike looked warily at Dumbledore, and quickly glanced at Buffy before nodding.  
  
"Fine, fine, I'll shut up."  
  
"Thank you. Now on with the proceedings."  
  
Three hours later - still in Dumbledore's Office!   
  
Buffy groaned in despair, "I can't do this any more! It's been three hours!!!"  
  
"Love, just calm down," Angel tried to calm her, but was frustrated himself after being subjected to spell after spell.  
  
Minerva looked completely exhausted, as well as defeated. "I hate to say this, but I agree with Buffy. We're getting nowhere. Perhaps we should continue this tomorrow after we all get some sleep."  
  
"I think you're right Minerva," Dumbledore agreed with a sigh.  
  
Spike groaned. "Finally!"  
  
Snape rolled his eyes.  
  
"I might have an idea," Buffy interrupted the inevitable argument between Spike and Snape. "I know a powerful Wicca that might be available."  
  
"Argh! Why didn't we think of that before the three hours of torture?!" Spike groaned.  
  
Angel finally caught on.  
  
"Willow! Of course! Why didn't we think of it before?"  
  
"Because I haven't talked to Will in three years, it's not like we're close any more. I haven't spoken to anyone from Sunnydale for three years, and I can't just expect her to come running. She has a life of her own."  
  
"You two were best friends for years. Do you think she's just forgotten you? I know I certainly didn't!" Angel tried to coerce her.  
  
"Yes but she's not madly in love with me is she?" Buffy resorted.  
  
"Well... no, but still. You don't think she would turn her back on you, do you?"  
  
"Why not," Buffy whispered guiltily, "It's what I did to them."  
  
"Buffy, Luv," Spike begged, "Do you want to stay like this forever? You two used to be close. Maybe this was supposed to happen, you know, to give you two a chance to be buddies again."  
  
"You aren't going to let this go, are you?" Buffy asked with a sigh.  
  
"Not a chance," Spike said with a small smirk.  
  
Buffy glared and pulled a small cell phone out of her pocket.  
  
(AN: I do realise that technology doesn't work at Hogwarts but like the TV and stuff in Buffy's room, the cell phone has been fixed so it can be used in Hogwarts.)  
  
End of chapter 14  
  
Again thanks to everyone who reviewed. And please keep it up! I love to hear what people think of my work! 


	15. Author's Note

**Authors note:**

I really have to apologise to all of my readers for not updating, but I must assure you that I am not abandoning the story. I have just began year 12 and have had very little time for much else but homework so I will update as soon as I have holidays, which will be in about 5 or 6 weeks. I appreciate your ongoing support of my story and thank you for being patient!

SirenofHell


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